Thoughts on the bachelor party.

The current myth of the bachelor party goes as follows:

Some time before the wedding the groom is kidnapped by his close buddies for a night of debauchery. By the end of the night the groom will have quenched his thirst for a life no longer available. The whole point, i.e. the ritual, is to give the groom a final taste of excess before he is whisked away to the other side of society - married life.

I think most people would agree with this general thought, and I think they are wrong.

Before I explain why, first let's describe the utilitarian purpose of the bachelor party - to unite the various elements of the wedding party. The groom's friends are from all walks of life - high school, college, work. Many often traveling from different locations, and they have, at the bachelor party, an opportunity to meet and bond. This temporary bond allows for a more jovial atmosphere at the reception.

With that out of the way, I must concede - during the bachelor party, the groom indulges in his vices one last time. Here's the truth though - in so doing, he comes to a secret realization - that he's not missing much.

He looks around at his friends, the single ones, and feels pity. For this is their idea of a good time, and he reflects on how sad a statement that is. While he, the groom, will soon return to spending nights with the woman he loves most. And this, I believe, is the more precise point of the ritual of the bachelor party, for the groom realizes he is not leaving a life he loves, but rather he's leaving a life that is no longer interesting. Secretly, he thinks, "I made the right choice."

Now before you think I've gone all softy. There's another aspect to the bachelor party - that of the married man. I've been to many bachelor parties now*, in all shapes and sizes, and I have not seen individuals more excited for this specific night than those who are married.

The reason is obvious - these men have experienced the ritual already, lived with that special woman for a few years, and now will donate their plasma for a night out without guilt. They don't regret the choice to marry of course, but they think with amazement, "how could I ever have judged this life boring!"

So it runs full circle. But I think it's important to note there's more going on to this ritual then just a bunch of dudes getting hammered near strippers. Of course the real loser in all this is the single guy, who gets a regular night out but has to spend a sh*tload more money.


*It's advised to never hire a hooker to do a stripper's job.