Tuesday, May 29, 2007

My beautiful friend actually wants to marry you, seriously!

Lately I've actually been fascinated by MySpace spam... seriously.

Here's a snippet from one of the more obvious:

I know this might seem somewhat strange, but it's 100% true.

My friend lives in another country and speaks pretty good English. She has been raised to believe that a woman should please and serve her man in every way possible, as this is their culture.

She wants to move to America and is looking for a man, a future husband, to bring her in and have a wonderful fulfilling life together. She's not extremely picky, but of course wants somebody she is compatible with. She is in her early to mid twenties. This is her picture.

The link to the picture was broken in the original email as well. Lucky for the spammer and her friend I'm way into cubism and find a square and two adjacent isosceles triangles terribly exciting.

Here's the thing about MySpace spam - it feeds off the weaker aspects of the male psyche. I'm sure one could say the same about any con, but MySpace is a unique offender in that the spammer is assumed to know something about the person they're spamming. The assumption is that the spammer has read the profile while the reality is some robot found the profile and sent the message.

Most MySpace spams feature a hot chick, scantily clad. The male is supposed to click her profile leading to her personal page, wherein she writes about the prudish policies of My Space, and offers links to more risque sites, and the aforementioned male, like a mouse following morsels of cheese, is supposed to follow along.

The particular cross-section of the male psyche at play here is the very modern notion of getting something for nothing. The secret fantasy is - "I could get the hot girl that all the athletes / rock stars get if she only knew me." The MySpace profile provides the backdrop to state all the attributes everyone else supposedly ignores. Once satisfied with his profile, he only has to sit back and wait for the girls to flood his inbox. Forget first dates and chivalry, this system is no different than doing anything online, which is mostly about instant gratification.

Not this all may seem a bit unbelievable - for obviously a man knows spam when he sees it. But ask any guy who has seen such spam, and ask if they clicked thru "just in case" at least once. If that does not suffice, consider the fact that the spammer is at war with MySpace trying to get their messages thru - not with the method itself.

If all that doesn't suffice, consider all of this is aimed mostly at those barely old enough to buy smokes. Now feel free to claim you had the self-esteem to know better at that age, and I will feel just as free to call you a liar.

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